I do not wish to bring up this matter but he forced me with no choice!
In 2006 he also claimed he was super busy with work and I was pregnant.
Guess what, the number of smses in his phone was countless and all about sex and lust!
All those sms I would never get from him as I did not know my hubby can be so loving and sweet talk whispering to woman!!
He will never say such thing to me but he did it to other woman!
Then he brings up having third kid, haha, he might be dreaming right? As a woman who is in the right mind and how he has treated me now, do you think I can sacrifice again for him?
I AM REALLY VERY UPSET TODAY AND FEEL LIKE LEAVING THIS MARRIAGE~~
he will always comment or criticise me saying I was not sensitive and caring towards him and I can lose temper with the kids sand so on..
Who cause me to behave like that?
I NEARLY HAD DEPRESSION IN 2006 AND UNTIL NOW LUCKILY GOD SAVED ME KNOWING I NEED TO SURVIVE FOR MY TWO GALS.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
not optimistic to stay together till old age
Today I smsed him over buying something and there was no reply from him. So I asked why and where he is. He called me hours later and screamed at me, saying he is super busy and what do I want! Of course I have no mood to talk anymore.
Why must he react like that? I cannot ask him as his wife? He always feels I am interrogating him and asking silly questions.
Then he prefer I do nothing?
I have no faith anymore in this marriage.
he will not sms me during the day and ask me how is my day and if I sms him he find me a bother!
When we went out with or without kids, he will walk as if I am the maid follow behind him and walk like the air of Mr Universe!
he will my touch me or forget about holding my hand! Really envy those old couple still so loving when I go out. He will give excuse he needs to handle the kids but no kids with us, he will walk with his arms folded or behind his back like those proud lord!! hate his snobbish look!
Do I or we have to continue to endure??
Why must he react like that? I cannot ask him as his wife? He always feels I am interrogating him and asking silly questions.
Then he prefer I do nothing?
I have no faith anymore in this marriage.
he will not sms me during the day and ask me how is my day and if I sms him he find me a bother!
When we went out with or without kids, he will walk as if I am the maid follow behind him and walk like the air of Mr Universe!
he will my touch me or forget about holding my hand! Really envy those old couple still so loving when I go out. He will give excuse he needs to handle the kids but no kids with us, he will walk with his arms folded or behind his back like those proud lord!! hate his snobbish look!
Do I or we have to continue to endure??
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
actually what is the point of saying them out when we cannot even talk face to face?
What I have done to improve? WHAT HAVE YOU ALSO DONE TO IMPROVE?
1)did I bother you when the first thing you reach home weekend is to play ur game? after work, t night when you are tired you can lie flat on bed and fall alseep, I have to attend to them even tired and sick. did you bother to ask I need help?
2)who take care of the kids when you are busy at work? why did you say I better live long enough to take care of them ? why you cannot do the job?
3) who handle the maid's issue?
4)who take care of the kids' well being? eg lesson etc
5)yes, sometimes i did not communicate to you patiently but did we make an effort to communicate daily? I realise the less often we communicate , the more difficult we try to talk
6)I might not have totally appreciate what you have done but did you to me so far? you will appreciate what the maid did but me?
7)I am not patient and easily frustrated but i have no right to lose control? even you say maid can lose control.
8)were you passionate and loving to me at all? (you just recall the times when we are dating, I guess once you got hold of something you won't treasure as much as you used to be)
9)í did sms you at times to ask u about work and lunch what I get is sarcastic remark that I am checking on you. By the way, I have not receive any from you so far. You can be busy but depend on who you prefer to sms to.
10)Did I not offer help and advice to your family member? what more do you want me to do for them? If you are busy, then I am not right? I remember when I was pregn and I was teaching a pri 2 class, you commented that my job sucks as I not busy like the rest cos i am teaching lower pri. You can think likewise and I cannot and when I point out it is not true you will show your undispleasure and then start howling.
that day we talk about ailing bil treat, I just casual mention and you have make one big round and insult me. i cannot even voice my opinion to my husband and he has to critise me instead.
11) who left the things lying around despite my nagging and then I have to give up and put them back in place.
12)I admit I have my pride too and you always like to raise your voice first even in front of the maid and the kids. Did you think of me?
13)after your affair, did i make a big hooha in front of your family or your relative? I am sure some of them are still kept in the dark knowing your grandma and you are full of pride people. She still dare to mention about having third child despite what I went through, talking about your family support for me..sama sama
14) whatever you do outside I have no clue and you dont even share so why blame me for being suspicious?
15)I make an effort to buy you birthday gift and at least the surprise element is there. What about you, answer is I am busy lor no time to buy. 2 years ago you also claimed to be "busy".
16) do i use those harsh words on you when we quarrel? who started using them even in front of the kids? even normal days the 4 letters words also come out of your mouth, talking about role model and telling me to be one.
17)what do you actually want from me? is it you want me to be 100% obedient?
18) when i was preg, i have to cope with the big tummy and new maid and mom, then i cannot even pour out my frustration on you? it shows how understanding you are to your wife. You can relate your problem to someone and not your wife. the problem is not in me is you. You like want to be in control of woman esp in bed. Even the slut and you blame me for what happened and never the fault of the 2 of you!!
What I have done to improve? WHAT HAVE YOU ALSO DONE TO IMPROVE?
1)did I bother you when the first thing you reach home weekend is to play ur game? after work, t night when you are tired you can lie flat on bed and fall alseep, I have to attend to them even tired and sick. did you bother to ask I need help?
2)who take care of the kids when you are busy at work? why did you say I better live long enough to take care of them ? why you cannot do the job?
3) who handle the maid's issue?
4)who take care of the kids' well being? eg lesson etc
5)yes, sometimes i did not communicate to you patiently but did we make an effort to communicate daily? I realise the less often we communicate , the more difficult we try to talk
6)I might not have totally appreciate what you have done but did you to me so far? you will appreciate what the maid did but me?
7)I am not patient and easily frustrated but i have no right to lose control? even you say maid can lose control.
8)were you passionate and loving to me at all? (you just recall the times when we are dating, I guess once you got hold of something you won't treasure as much as you used to be)
9)í did sms you at times to ask u about work and lunch what I get is sarcastic remark that I am checking on you. By the way, I have not receive any from you so far. You can be busy but depend on who you prefer to sms to.
10)Did I not offer help and advice to your family member? what more do you want me to do for them? If you are busy, then I am not right? I remember when I was pregn and I was teaching a pri 2 class, you commented that my job sucks as I not busy like the rest cos i am teaching lower pri. You can think likewise and I cannot and when I point out it is not true you will show your undispleasure and then start howling.
that day we talk about ailing bil treat, I just casual mention and you have make one big round and insult me. i cannot even voice my opinion to my husband and he has to critise me instead.
11) who left the things lying around despite my nagging and then I have to give up and put them back in place.
12)I admit I have my pride too and you always like to raise your voice first even in front of the maid and the kids. Did you think of me?
13)after your affair, did i make a big hooha in front of your family or your relative? I am sure some of them are still kept in the dark knowing your grandma and you are full of pride people. She still dare to mention about having third child despite what I went through, talking about your family support for me..sama sama
14) whatever you do outside I have no clue and you dont even share so why blame me for being suspicious?
15)I make an effort to buy you birthday gift and at least the surprise element is there. What about you, answer is I am busy lor no time to buy. 2 years ago you also claimed to be "busy".
16) do i use those harsh words on you when we quarrel? who started using them even in front of the kids? even normal days the 4 letters words also come out of your mouth, talking about role model and telling me to be one.
17)what do you actually want from me? is it you want me to be 100% obedient?
18) when i was preg, i have to cope with the big tummy and new maid and mom, then i cannot even pour out my frustration on you? it shows how understanding you are to your wife. You can relate your problem to someone and not your wife. the problem is not in me is you. You like want to be in control of woman esp in bed. Even the slut and you blame me for what happened and never the fault of the 2 of you!!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
DIVORCE OR DEATH OR DISAPPEAR
I have been thinking after our heated argument today.
Option 1: divorce and live with the kids
Option 2:just leave the world and away from all these pain and misery
Option 3:leave the world with my kids
Option 4:still stay on but got happiness?
what is he not happy with me? he will scream and shout at me over slightest thing, even in front of our kids, all his hurling and shouting. He likes to interpret another way what i mean and say now.
Is it worth to stay together? I am just there because the kids need me.
There is no sms today about my sickness and I also need to work and handle my mom, maid and the kids once i got home.
What about him? He is free, he will spend time with them, if he is not free he will be frustrated and we better stay clear.
He is tired and he can lie flat on bed. He earns more so he has more power in this house.
How many time has he often to help me with the kids?
So does it matter if we stay or not stay together?
I guess the final decision is confirmed, better go our own way than to suffer as he cannot tolerate me anymore.
Why he can put up with other less deserving woman who seduce other people and do they worht more than me?
Once we settle our divorce, I will not hestitate to disclose all their identity. I have been very tolerating and my hubby thinks i am a coward, always say divorce but no action. He always think little of me, I know. I did so much for the kids but in his mind they are worthless.
Option 1: divorce and live with the kids
Option 2:just leave the world and away from all these pain and misery
Option 3:leave the world with my kids
Option 4:still stay on but got happiness?
what is he not happy with me? he will scream and shout at me over slightest thing, even in front of our kids, all his hurling and shouting. He likes to interpret another way what i mean and say now.
Is it worth to stay together? I am just there because the kids need me.
There is no sms today about my sickness and I also need to work and handle my mom, maid and the kids once i got home.
What about him? He is free, he will spend time with them, if he is not free he will be frustrated and we better stay clear.
He is tired and he can lie flat on bed. He earns more so he has more power in this house.
How many time has he often to help me with the kids?
So does it matter if we stay or not stay together?
I guess the final decision is confirmed, better go our own way than to suffer as he cannot tolerate me anymore.
Why he can put up with other less deserving woman who seduce other people and do they worht more than me?
Once we settle our divorce, I will not hestitate to disclose all their identity. I have been very tolerating and my hubby thinks i am a coward, always say divorce but no action. He always think little of me, I know. I did so much for the kids but in his mind they are worthless.
divorce
I know is matter of time and we endure each other for the sake of the kids only. What is the point? I already hold my tongue and he also not happy. I whole day dont receive his sms or msn and when i did that to him, he will find me a nag!
Nothing can be discussed between the two of us anymore.
We dont seem to have common things to talk about.
he complained about my blog and if you have nothing to hide, why bother?
Nothing can be discussed between the two of us anymore.
We dont seem to have common things to talk about.
he complained about my blog and if you have nothing to hide, why bother?
he cannot stand me!
I already can tell he cannot stand me and of course how can I compare to those soft spoken and young ones out there?
Who dont have fantasy and if you have no self-control, you are as good as the beasts out there!
When we talk, we will quarrel as he will say I am scolding or interrogating him. As if he sounds very nice to me!
When we go out, who will know we are couple as he will show his air and forget about him holding my hands or even any part of me.
His lover once commented he is the most caring and gentle person haha...as his wife, he is not even gentle to me!
Who dont have fantasy and if you have no self-control, you are as good as the beasts out there!
When we talk, we will quarrel as he will say I am scolding or interrogating him. As if he sounds very nice to me!
When we go out, who will know we are couple as he will show his air and forget about him holding my hands or even any part of me.
His lover once commented he is the most caring and gentle person haha...as his wife, he is not even gentle to me!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
no communication
been thinking is it best not to tal to each other ? the only means of communication are email or sms?
What does he want as a wfie? his ideal wife?
Maybe those women out there even hookers are better than his wife.
his wife is just nonsense to him.
What does he want as a wfie? his ideal wife?
Maybe those women out there even hookers are better than his wife.
his wife is just nonsense to him.
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